littlepugmama:

lordoftheswag:

you liked my girls selfie a little too fast….

image

Omg

(via sexact)

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

i romantically stand outside your window and hold up my iPhone to blast our song. a 30 second ad plays first

(via crystallized-teardrops)

the-arena-ballerina:

neptunain:

christmas is so much worse as you get older it’s like “what do you want this year?” “a sense of purpose”

"a career" "financial security" "a sex life" "tuition for grad school" "alcohol" "a nap" "socks would be nice"

(via megggycolleen)

internetmessiah:

Why is pizza a circle but the box a square and the slices triangles and my soul a bottomless pit of pain and despair?

(via megggycolleen)

thekingofwinter:

takohai:

glitteringknight:

"Your highness" is gender neutral.

So you know, if you’re ever confused about my pronouns.

That’ll work.

alternatively, “your majesty,” “my liege,” and “supreme overlord”

please note that “your grace” is also acceptable

(via crystallized-teardrops)

ooh-bite-me:

when your mom walks up behind you while you’re blogging

image

(via crystallized-teardrops)

nawyougood:

theinternationalasshole:

Imagine having sex with a girl and she turns into a legit monster
Do you continue fucking her or do you run away?

does the pussy stay human pussy or does it become monster pussy? will she kill me if my stroke weak? if the condom breaks, will i create an x men baby? do monsters get the clap? its levels to this shit and i need answers.

(via oreimo)